We are studying Ephesians for one of the group studies Ben and I attend. I read this verse written by Paul to the Ephesians:
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
So, I’ve definitely read this verse before, but I don’t think it had ever really clicked. I usually just kept reading as if it was just a small part of the letter. This time I read the verse and I was astonished! What is that? How does that happen? Where was my mind before? How many important sayings or phrases or verses have I passed over (in all the literature I have read) like they were just a small part of the story?
THIS TIME when I read, I finally understood how Paul was feeling. I have felt this love! I have seen this love! I watch this love continue when things are falling apart around me! I am still experiencing this love! It is unlike anything you can put into words or anything that is imaginable. I can’t explain. You just have to feel it and God is standing there waiting for you!!!
No, I am definitely not crazy. No, I am not part of a cult. No, I am not imagining things that are not there. No, I’m not giving you a sales pitch. No, I’m not trying to scare you (yet). No, this is not demonic. This is real!!! This is amazing!!!
If you haven’t felt this love it’s not surprising. No worries! It took me a long time in my Christian walk to get to this point (because I was not serious about my relationship with God). What took me years to understand, could take you only days, weeks or months, depending on how devoted you are to your relationship with God.
The Bible is filled to the brim with verses just like this. Any verse could grab you just like this one grabbed me this week. The Holy Spirit leads us to understand different things at different times. I pray that God leads you to understand this love sooner than later!!!
God Bless you on your journey!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
What was your big event?
Many Christians have something in common with the way they began following Christ-that one, big event. That big event (either negative or positive) led to a major life change. For example:
-A church retreat
-A bad dream
-A friend that got your attention
-A big mistake
-A hospitalization
-Losing something/someone important to you
-An accident
-Newly acquired knowledge
-A joyful moment
-A new start
-A night with a parent or family member
-A special sermon
-A testimony
-A Bible verse
-Your pastor’s advice
-Something that scared you for life
-A movie
-A novel
-A journey
Has one of these big events ever happened to you? When everything just “clicked” one day and you understood why it was so important for you to turn your life in a different direction, more specifically-to follow Christ. Have you had a realization that maybe life is about more than you are living for?
Unfortunately, my big event came as a series of large mistakes. Thank goodness those mistakes don’t have a hold over me anymore. What happened to my life, because of those mistakes, was amazing! God got my attention.
Since then, I have traveled down a road I could have only hoped for when I was living selfishly. Growing my faith, my understanding of Scripture, my relationship with God, and my spiritual fruit are all elements of my journey and my destination. It’s a journey in which I am striving to make God the ABSOLUTE most important aspect of my life. Hopefully along the way I can convince others they are missing out when God is not in the picture.
If you have not experienced your big event, then I pray that you and your “Godly” event are on a collision course!!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Are You Worried?
Lately, it seems I have been surrounded with people worrying. Don’t get me wrong-I don’t mind it at all, but it weighs on my heart that these people are struggling so much.
What are some common worries (I’m sure each of you could tell me fifty reasons for worry and stress in your life), but for the sake of this post I will name some I have heard lately:
-There’s not enough work.
-There’s not enough money.
-I don’t have enough help.
-I have too much to do.
-There’s never enough time.
-I’m gaining too much weight.
-I’m not getting enough sleep.
-There’s too much to pay for.
-I don’t know who to turn to for help.
-I don’t know what to do with my life.
-I don’t have enough energy.
-There’s always a never-ending work list.
-Things aren’t going my way.
-I’m late for so many things.
-I don’t have what I need for my family.
-Everything’s falling apart.
-My relationships are struggling.
-I don’t want to be away from my family even to go to work.
-I am so mad at my husband/wife. I am always worried about our marriage.
-I don’t want to travel.
-My family member is sick.
-My friend is dying.
-There’s no way to help all those who are in need.
-I’m not living in the right city.
-I can’t stand my boss.
I know some of these statements have come out of my mouth in the last few months. Have any of them come out of your mouth? Have you been thinking these things day after day? It’s not wrong to think or say these things. Unfortunately, it IS life-damaging to let them control your life.
Take it from a worrier…I have a type A personality, many OCD tendencies, was raised in a family with a few “undiagnosed” family members with OCD, and I am an introvert who tends to over-think everything. It used to be that every day my house needed to be clean with everything in its perfect place. I was on an exact, to-the-second schedule and if anything messed that up my anger would flare. I was worried about the groceries. I was worried about the bills. I was worried about the gas we used driving around in our cars. I was worried about everything my family was wearing. I was worried about the way I looked. I was worried about my marriage and my friendships (and many, many more things). Wow! What a life of unhappiness and discontentment. Only recently did I find out that that is no way to live and I found my solution to my problems: Stop worrying!!!
I had always been taught (in church and school) that God asks us to give our worries to Him.
Matthew 6:25, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?”
Matthew 6:27, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
It made me so upset to hear this from others and read these verses because I never felt God could completely take all my stress and anxiety away. Other people could figure it out, but I couldn't. I always told myself that I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying. I couldn't forget about the problem because then I wouldn’t be able to take control of the situation to fix what was broken. I guess I truly thought if the issue was going to be solved, worry would help push me to the solution. FORTUNATELY, I was very wrong.
I have a challenge for anyone that is reading this. Maybe you are someone that has learned how to give up your worry to God. But, if you haven’t accepted God’s offer to take your worries away then just humor me on this: Try to make it through ONE day giving every worry to God. Here are some “techniques” (if you will) to help you. You may adopt different techniques, but this is how I got started.
1) Pray to God. Tell him what you are worried about (Tell him everything that you are worried about at that moment. Don’t sell him short. He can handle it.). Ask Him to take that worry into his hands and off of your heart.
---------WARNING---------- Do NOT stop there. You have a little bit of work to do also. This was my error for most of my life. I would say a prayer and then start worrying again as soon as I said “Amen”. Then, I would wonder why God didn’t take away all my stress. Unfortunately, for us “chronic” worriers it is not that simple. Take some deep breaths and read on…
2) After you pray, you get back to what you are doing…but you start to think about all those worries again. Well, pray again. Tell God you are still worrying. Ask him to help you get through the next five minutes without worrying about something. If you finish your prayer and start worrying again, pray again. Continue this cycle. Don't get frustrated. This is how you need to start.
-(Oh…and for some of you who require practicality, you can pray while you are doing whatever you are doing. God is always listening. You don’t have to go into a quiet, dark room and get down on your hands and knees. You don’t even have to close your eyes. Just turn your focus internally to God instead of externally on your work for a few moments. )
3) You have to learn a new habit. I’m sure you have heard or read how difficult it is to give up “bad” habits. All of your life your habit was to constantly worry about one situation or another, and let it control your actions throughout each of your days. It is going to take some time to learn how to give God your worries, and the stress and anxiety that come with it. God will be with you to help you every step of the way.
4) This is not a simple task. Please don’t give up. It is more worth it than you could imagine! Continue to replace your worries with prayer to God. God is faithful!!! He will answer you! He will begin to change your thoughts and your actions as long as you ask it of him.
-I have to be honest with you. I spent the first few days praying about every three to five minutes. I was ready to give up my control to God, and I soon found out the more control I gave to God the better the situation turned out.
If you try this, set a goal for yourself to try it for a full week or longer…the end goal being FOREVER. Eventually, you will automatically give your worry to God without even thinking about it first. Also, this works for every trial in life revolving around: anger, resentment, negativity, impatience, sadness, denial, and more. If your “bad” habits are focused on one of these topics I just mentioned, then follow the same steps inserting that topic instead of worry.
DISCLAIMER: Do you know who God is? Do you trust God? Do you have faith in God that he is our Creator? If you said “no” to any of these questions, start by learning more about Him. Knowing and understanding God’s character leads to complete trust in Him. Sometimes it is difficult to depend on (and give your worries to) someone you don’t already trust.
DISCLAIMER: I am not helping you forget about important issues in your life. I am helping you learn how to NOT let the issues control your thoughts and your actions. For example: It’s okay to think about how to complete a project, but instead of worrying about the end result, just concentrate on what you can do this hour or what you can do today. Tomorrow will eventually come and you can start working on it again then.
Here is a little more I’ve learned about worry:
-“Do not be concerned with the impression you leave on other people, be concerned with the impression you leave on God.” (A. W.) No more worrying about what others think of your clothing, your hairstyle, your imperfections, the way you do things, etc. God made you the way you are.
-Are you always worrying about money? Stop now! Ask God to take this worry away. When we trust in the Lord, he always provides for our needs.
-Are you worried about your marriage or your relationships? Have you let God be a part of them at all?
-Are you worried about the way you are raising your children? God wants us to expand his kingdom. Give this worry to God. Focus on teaching your children about God. Maybe do devotion with them every night. Give them Godly discipline. Have family prayer times scheduled. Let them know what God is doing in your life.
(All of these topics really require their own full blog, but for now I am sticking to a small paragraph for each. ) :)
When God is your focus instead of worry: He will help you through hard times (yes, there will still be difficult times in your life). You will have clothing to wear. You will have food to eat. You will have money to pay your bills (everyone will have different amounts-how much God knows you need). You will have rest. You will have the energy you need to accomplish you life’s tasks. Your life plans will be complete. When things don’t go your way, they will still not be burdensome…
ALL WHEN YOU MAKE GOD THE FOUNDATION IN YOUR LIFE.Sunday, July 25, 2010
Getting to the heart of it...
God continues to work in our lives! So many wonderful things have happened over the past few months. We took our Junior High and High school students from church to the EFCA Challenge Conference for a week. So many lives were brought to Christ, renewed in Christ, or completely changed for His glory during our time at the Conference.
I know my life was one of those lives that was changed through the lessons we learned at Challenge. No matter how strong I think I am in my Christian life, God continues to strengthen my knowledge of Him and my ability to complete work for His kingdom. Even though we returned from Challenge a few weeks ago, I feel like God's changes for my life are still continuing to occur (specifically in the area of self-control).
Over the last few years I have really desired to show others the Fruits of the Spirit present in my words and my actions. But, one of the Fruits of the Spirit I continue to struggle with is self-control. Actually, I should probably say that I have ALWAYS struggled with this one...not just the last few years.
To be specific, I struggle with self-control when it comes to: (uggghhhhh...I don't even want to tell you, but I really feel like it is a must because I know some of you are going through the exact same things. Maybe it will help to know that you aren't the only one.)
So, here they are-I struggle with:
Laziness (Reading a good novel is soooo much better than cleaning my floors, or my bathrooms, or having my household in order the way God asks me to, right?-NO, but I'll read over those things any day.)
Lust or Covetting(Is my relationship with my husband really as good as so-and-so's relationship with their husband?)
Bad health habits (How many fat calories have been in my food this week? How many times have I had icecream or candy this week? Have I been a good wife and cooked healthy for my family?-No, because I see the problems in their eating habits and lifestyle choices.)
Media overusage (How many times a day do I really need to check each one of my four email accounts, facebook, the weather, the itunes store or youtube? Really, how many?-probably NONE.)
Movie choices-(I know I shouldn't watch that movie, but I am going to watch it anyway.)
Not denying myself-(I can't say no to some temptations. Nothing specific. Just random things that come between God and me or my family and me.)
Poor Financial Choices-(How many items have I bought in the last month that I truly did not NEED? My WANT for frivolous items is sometime unbelievable when I think of how much good I could do with that money otherwise.)
Lack of Spiritual Discipline-(Fasting, praying, reading scripture, studying scripture and related texts, witnessing to others-I am doing about 5% of what I SHOULD be doing in this area of my life. This makes me so sad because of my poor choices.)
Bad parenting choices-(I know I should never discipline Preston in anger, but I still continue to discipline in anger because it is "inconvienient" to TAKE THE TIME to discipline him correctly.)
Ohhhh...the list continues, but I am stopping there. Just writing it out makes me nauseated.
I sometimes feel like my life looks a little like my house.The outside of my house is looking pretty good right now-probably because of the countless hours Ben and I spent on it this spring. That is kind of how my body is. Honestly, when it comes to my body I spend the most time on the outside-doing my hair, doing my makeup, whitening my teeth, exercising, deciding what I should wear, etc..
Moving to the inside of my house-it is pretty messy right now, but able to all be picked up in a few hours. Nothing horrible. In comparison, it kind of matches my regard for my healthiness. My health is better than some, but I make poor choices when it comes to food and I am on medications to help with 3 different medical problems.
But, when it comes to the innermost part of my house, (my drawers, my cabinets, my BASEMENT) what is that like? Well, unfortunately those areas are filled with stuff! Yeah, they are organized, but they are packed tightly and a little eclectic-making them difficult to get into and find what I need. Once again, in comparison, my heart is the innermost part of me-filled with what I just told you about (a love for the Lord, but ALSO the biproducts from a lack of self-control). So, for the most part, my heart it filled with tons of clutter. BUT, no one sees these areas so I should be good! (Right?)
OH! SOOOOOO WRONG! What is in my heart completely shows in every other part of my life. So, how am I going to be able to show other people the Fruits of the Spirit through my words and my actions when my heart is cluttered with so many other things? Truthfully, I am not going to be very effective.
I have mourned over these self-control issues so much. I have asked God to show me the parts of my life where I need Him to work the most in and He has definitely been faithful to show me those things (as you have read).
In a parable in Luke, Jesus talks about cutting down a tree that is not fruitful. How long is God going to be patient and wait for me to bear fruit? How long is God going to let me live with so many blessings from Him, but me never giving anything back to Him? This really puts things into perspective for me.
Josh Harris spoke on resisting temptation and it gave me some hope for my problem with the lack of self-control. I give in to temptation. Temptation to sleep when I should be working to better His kingdom. Temptation because of media. Temptation from lust. Temptation to choose other things or people over what Christ wants for my life. Etc, etc, etc.....But, Josh said "Just realizing that you are tempted is God working in your life."
I am constantly fighting temptation. Why? Because God is there with me giving me a way out. I wouldn't be fighting temptation if I didn't already know the correct choice to make! So, if God is working in that way...it gives me so much hope that he will work with me and be there for me as I am constantly at battle with Satan's temptations in this world and my lack of self-control.
Now, don't get me wrong, God is definitely working through many areas in my life (especially through my empathy for those who are struggling with sins in situations that I have previously conquered because of God's grace). I just know God is working in my life when it comes to self-control and that is going to always require sooooo much prayer, support from others, resistance, and putting on the full Armor of God.
It is the (unfortunately large) area of my life that I need to work through so I can be COMPLETELY ready, at any given moment, to do the work God has put me on earth to accomplish. I thought I would write about this because God put it on my heart to write about and I am humbly requesting prayer regarding these issues.
I know my life was one of those lives that was changed through the lessons we learned at Challenge. No matter how strong I think I am in my Christian life, God continues to strengthen my knowledge of Him and my ability to complete work for His kingdom. Even though we returned from Challenge a few weeks ago, I feel like God's changes for my life are still continuing to occur (specifically in the area of self-control).
Over the last few years I have really desired to show others the Fruits of the Spirit present in my words and my actions. But, one of the Fruits of the Spirit I continue to struggle with is self-control. Actually, I should probably say that I have ALWAYS struggled with this one...not just the last few years.
To be specific, I struggle with self-control when it comes to: (uggghhhhh...I don't even want to tell you, but I really feel like it is a must because I know some of you are going through the exact same things. Maybe it will help to know that you aren't the only one.)
So, here they are-I struggle with:
Laziness (Reading a good novel is soooo much better than cleaning my floors, or my bathrooms, or having my household in order the way God asks me to, right?-NO, but I'll read over those things any day.)
Lust or Covetting(Is my relationship with my husband really as good as so-and-so's relationship with their husband?)
Bad health habits (How many fat calories have been in my food this week? How many times have I had icecream or candy this week? Have I been a good wife and cooked healthy for my family?-No, because I see the problems in their eating habits and lifestyle choices.)
Media overusage (How many times a day do I really need to check each one of my four email accounts, facebook, the weather, the itunes store or youtube? Really, how many?-probably NONE.)
Movie choices-(I know I shouldn't watch that movie, but I am going to watch it anyway.)
Not denying myself-(I can't say no to some temptations. Nothing specific. Just random things that come between God and me or my family and me.)
Poor Financial Choices-(How many items have I bought in the last month that I truly did not NEED? My WANT for frivolous items is sometime unbelievable when I think of how much good I could do with that money otherwise.)
Lack of Spiritual Discipline-(Fasting, praying, reading scripture, studying scripture and related texts, witnessing to others-I am doing about 5% of what I SHOULD be doing in this area of my life. This makes me so sad because of my poor choices.)
Bad parenting choices-(I know I should never discipline Preston in anger, but I still continue to discipline in anger because it is "inconvienient" to TAKE THE TIME to discipline him correctly.)
Ohhhh...the list continues, but I am stopping there. Just writing it out makes me nauseated.
I sometimes feel like my life looks a little like my house.The outside of my house is looking pretty good right now-probably because of the countless hours Ben and I spent on it this spring. That is kind of how my body is. Honestly, when it comes to my body I spend the most time on the outside-doing my hair, doing my makeup, whitening my teeth, exercising, deciding what I should wear, etc..
Moving to the inside of my house-it is pretty messy right now, but able to all be picked up in a few hours. Nothing horrible. In comparison, it kind of matches my regard for my healthiness. My health is better than some, but I make poor choices when it comes to food and I am on medications to help with 3 different medical problems.
But, when it comes to the innermost part of my house, (my drawers, my cabinets, my BASEMENT) what is that like? Well, unfortunately those areas are filled with stuff! Yeah, they are organized, but they are packed tightly and a little eclectic-making them difficult to get into and find what I need. Once again, in comparison, my heart is the innermost part of me-filled with what I just told you about (a love for the Lord, but ALSO the biproducts from a lack of self-control). So, for the most part, my heart it filled with tons of clutter. BUT, no one sees these areas so I should be good! (Right?)
OH! SOOOOOO WRONG! What is in my heart completely shows in every other part of my life. So, how am I going to be able to show other people the Fruits of the Spirit through my words and my actions when my heart is cluttered with so many other things? Truthfully, I am not going to be very effective.
I have mourned over these self-control issues so much. I have asked God to show me the parts of my life where I need Him to work the most in and He has definitely been faithful to show me those things (as you have read).
In a parable in Luke, Jesus talks about cutting down a tree that is not fruitful. How long is God going to be patient and wait for me to bear fruit? How long is God going to let me live with so many blessings from Him, but me never giving anything back to Him? This really puts things into perspective for me.
Josh Harris spoke on resisting temptation and it gave me some hope for my problem with the lack of self-control. I give in to temptation. Temptation to sleep when I should be working to better His kingdom. Temptation because of media. Temptation from lust. Temptation to choose other things or people over what Christ wants for my life. Etc, etc, etc.....But, Josh said "Just realizing that you are tempted is God working in your life."
I am constantly fighting temptation. Why? Because God is there with me giving me a way out. I wouldn't be fighting temptation if I didn't already know the correct choice to make! So, if God is working in that way...it gives me so much hope that he will work with me and be there for me as I am constantly at battle with Satan's temptations in this world and my lack of self-control.
Now, don't get me wrong, God is definitely working through many areas in my life (especially through my empathy for those who are struggling with sins in situations that I have previously conquered because of God's grace). I just know God is working in my life when it comes to self-control and that is going to always require sooooo much prayer, support from others, resistance, and putting on the full Armor of God.
It is the (unfortunately large) area of my life that I need to work through so I can be COMPLETELY ready, at any given moment, to do the work God has put me on earth to accomplish. I thought I would write about this because God put it on my heart to write about and I am humbly requesting prayer regarding these issues.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I've truly been blessed!
Today is my 28th birthday. (I still can't believe I am thinking, writing, saying that.) Also, our ten year high school reunion is in a few weeks (I can't believe I am saying that either). I was in the middle of exercising today and I just stopped while thinking: Where has the time gone? What have I been doing with my life? What have I accomplished in the last ten years? Am I filled with joy or sorrow for the things that have happened since high school?
Wow! Tons of questions that came with so much emotion. I have a bad habit of looking at people around me and thinking I am so far behind because I had Preston when I was so young. We don't have thousands of dollars to throw at the next new and upcoming item. We don't live in a huge house or have "eye candy" cars. We don't have iphones. We don't have cable television (by choice mostly). We don't take vacations every year. We don't. We don't. We don't....
I stopped myself with a reprimand. Why in the world am I worried about those things??? NONE of that is what's important. Two years ago I finally gave up my life and let the footprints become one set instead of two. I finally put God where he should have been all along...FIRST among everything else that infiltrates my life. And, over these last two years I have learned better than to ask those questions at all!
So, here is a little about what I DO have: I have water to drink. I have food to eat for EVERY meal. I have a bed to sleep in every night, and if I didn't have a bed to sleep in I know about 100 people who would offer a bed for me to sleep in. I have my health (mostly :). I have a healthy son and a healthy husband. I have two wonderful, crazy, cute pets. I have a phone to call those important to me. I have air conditioning. I have electricity (believe me I won't take this for granted ever again after our time in Israel, Jordan and all of our storms in KY over the last few years). My husband loves me probably more than I can imagine. I have a family who loves me. I have friends that love me (over 80 people wished me happy birthday today!!!). I have a job where I save lives-where the push of one button can keep someone alive or put someone to sleep forever. I have a very comfortable home and more and more....
I could go on forever and get detailed, but I'll spare you. : ) The point is, no matter what I have been through or am going through or (I'm sure) will go through...God has truly blessed me and my family. He has also given me so much more than material items. He has given me peace when I am anxious. Empathy for those who are hurting. The heart of a servant for those in need. The wisdom to discern righteousness from evil, though evil is elaborately cunning. Patience in times of trials or frustration. Joy during times of happiness AND sadness. Love for those who have not. Love for those who I don't want to love. Understanding when no one else understands.
How...after realizing all of this...could I EVER be in want? How could I think I don't have much compared to those around me "living the life". Well, I can't. I can't be in want and I can't even think of comparing myself to those around me.
So, in answering the question, "What have I been doing with my life", apparently I have not been doing anything worth while. God has been the one doing something with it....leading me where he wants me to go. Over the past ten years I (we) have been through some horrible situations, many of which I caused all by myself. Many of which threatened to tear my heart apart or tear our relationships apart or tear apart the relationships of others. But, now I realize I had to get through all that to know what I know now and do what I can do now.
I sometimes think, "Why did God let me go through all of those things? Why was I different from so many people around me that were following God ten years ago? Why couldn't I have ever just put God first and that would have spared my heartache and sorrow?" Over these years God has slowly answered my questions. I am here...now...continually in contact with an amazing Creator, Giver, Friend. That's what matters-nothing else.
Now, and forever I need prayers to stay strong. I need prayers so that God can work in the lives of others, through me. So, not that I mentioned a question to this answer, but THAT is what I intend to do with my life from now on. Keeping the past behind me. Living for so much more than this world and for myself. Keeping one set of footprints-not two. What a blessing to know what I am living for!
Wow! Tons of questions that came with so much emotion. I have a bad habit of looking at people around me and thinking I am so far behind because I had Preston when I was so young. We don't have thousands of dollars to throw at the next new and upcoming item. We don't live in a huge house or have "eye candy" cars. We don't have iphones. We don't have cable television (by choice mostly). We don't take vacations every year. We don't. We don't. We don't....
I stopped myself with a reprimand. Why in the world am I worried about those things??? NONE of that is what's important. Two years ago I finally gave up my life and let the footprints become one set instead of two. I finally put God where he should have been all along...FIRST among everything else that infiltrates my life. And, over these last two years I have learned better than to ask those questions at all!
So, here is a little about what I DO have: I have water to drink. I have food to eat for EVERY meal. I have a bed to sleep in every night, and if I didn't have a bed to sleep in I know about 100 people who would offer a bed for me to sleep in. I have my health (mostly :). I have a healthy son and a healthy husband. I have two wonderful, crazy, cute pets. I have a phone to call those important to me. I have air conditioning. I have electricity (believe me I won't take this for granted ever again after our time in Israel, Jordan and all of our storms in KY over the last few years). My husband loves me probably more than I can imagine. I have a family who loves me. I have friends that love me (over 80 people wished me happy birthday today!!!). I have a job where I save lives-where the push of one button can keep someone alive or put someone to sleep forever. I have a very comfortable home and more and more....
I could go on forever and get detailed, but I'll spare you. : ) The point is, no matter what I have been through or am going through or (I'm sure) will go through...God has truly blessed me and my family. He has also given me so much more than material items. He has given me peace when I am anxious. Empathy for those who are hurting. The heart of a servant for those in need. The wisdom to discern righteousness from evil, though evil is elaborately cunning. Patience in times of trials or frustration. Joy during times of happiness AND sadness. Love for those who have not. Love for those who I don't want to love. Understanding when no one else understands.
How...after realizing all of this...could I EVER be in want? How could I think I don't have much compared to those around me "living the life". Well, I can't. I can't be in want and I can't even think of comparing myself to those around me.
So, in answering the question, "What have I been doing with my life", apparently I have not been doing anything worth while. God has been the one doing something with it....leading me where he wants me to go. Over the past ten years I (we) have been through some horrible situations, many of which I caused all by myself. Many of which threatened to tear my heart apart or tear our relationships apart or tear apart the relationships of others. But, now I realize I had to get through all that to know what I know now and do what I can do now.
I sometimes think, "Why did God let me go through all of those things? Why was I different from so many people around me that were following God ten years ago? Why couldn't I have ever just put God first and that would have spared my heartache and sorrow?" Over these years God has slowly answered my questions. I am here...now...continually in contact with an amazing Creator, Giver, Friend. That's what matters-nothing else.
Now, and forever I need prayers to stay strong. I need prayers so that God can work in the lives of others, through me. So, not that I mentioned a question to this answer, but THAT is what I intend to do with my life from now on. Keeping the past behind me. Living for so much more than this world and for myself. Keeping one set of footprints-not two. What a blessing to know what I am living for!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
For Ashley (although the update is 2 and 1/2 years late) :)
I have been feeling this strong urge to start blogging (yes, I did start this blog two years ago-and, yes, I only completed one post). SO, on that note, we will see how long I feel this urge. lol My thoughts are all jumbled, but I feel like I have so much to say. Hang with me while I sort out the next few posts.
I guess I will start with updating the time line I started in the previous post:
September 2008: Oh, the hurricane winds!! They traveled all the way from the Texas coastline up here just to knock all of our trees and power lines down. Fun times! So many of our friends spent the next 14 days in the dark.
October 2008: My brother got married! What a beautiful wedding!
December 2008: Nick graduated from college with his Bachelors Degree in Political Science.
January and February 2009: Both my mom and my dad spent a week in the hospital for different medical issues. I continue to pray for their health since it is moving (in what I call) the wrong direction.
-Oh yes! I can't forget our ice storm. Everything was COVERED in a half and inch of ice. This lasted over a week~once again managing to take out our trees and power lines. (Luckily, we still had more trees than Kansas when we got done with this storm). All of us were very tired of battling the elements over the past 6 months.)
April 2009: I graduated from Indiana Wesleyan University with my Bachelors Degree of Science in Nursing.
-Also this month, Ben started his own business. Somewhat of a continuance from the High School time period, he is mowing lawns and landscaping. It's amazing to see how God can work through him in this job!
May 2009: Carolyn graduated High School! (To add to that-she and I have become wonderful friends. Through one AMAZING sermon, Christ led her down the path to Him. I am so proud of her!)
July 2009: A 22 hour drive to Estes Park. CO for a Macy family reunion. Oh the things I take for granted-such as living 12 hours closer to a most beautiful, amazing place (that does nothing but shout, "God CREATED....")!! How can you not believe when you see the mountains and the wild flowers and the animals and breathe the air up there??? It was too short of a trip, but a much-needed, wonderful one at that.
August 2009: Carolyn started her Freshman year at Georgetown College in Georgetown, KY. Preston also started his 2nd grade year (continuing) at Cornerstone Christian Academy.
November 2009: We took in another dog! Jonesy is his name. He was our neighbor's dog and now he is ours. He seems to be adjusting to the family very well!
December 2009: Ben and I were sick for most of this month, making Christmas not so enjoyable. Also, this was the first year we did not travel back to Kansas during the Christmas season. This month was a bump in the road! Hopefully December 2010 will be a month that I remember for the good aspects instead of the bad.
January and February 2010: Wow! More bumps in the road, if I may say. Too many people connected to our lives had lost loved ones, were going through the most difficult trials in their lives, or were just experiencing some form of devastation or hardship. I did not realize how much this had affected me until a few months after the thick of it.
I internalize so many thoughts and feelings now (part of my quest to "be still and know that God is God"~in the quiet times is when I feel and hear Him the most). I did not realize how sad and burdened I was by the events that had happened. I love those people. I grieved for those that had gone. I felt the burden of their hardships (and we had our own to go along). It is like the Brandon Heath song lyrics, "Give me your eyes for just one second. Give me your eyes so I can see. Give me your arms for the broken-hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see."
I know, now, that God allowed me to feel that way. I can see His reasons for the immense "sadness and pain" I experienced. Also, I definitely have somewhat of an understanding of what depression is like (since I had never before been a "sad" person or struggled with difficult emotional problems before this).
May 2010: Finally! The sun is shining. We planted flowers and they are blooming. The grass is green. The trees are flowering. The time for returning to Kansas for our !!!10 YEAR!!! High School reunion is coming quickly. I can't believe it has been that long! We are excited to see everyone we grew up with.
June 2010: Ben and I will be taking our church High School youth group to Challenge in Ohio. Challenge is the Evangelical Free Church's summer retreat. I have mixed feelings about this trip. I am nervous because 1) I never wanted to go to Challenge as a high-schooler 2) Can I do this? Can I help lead this group to taking a path in the direction of righteousness? I am excited because 1) Ben and I have been given the chance to try to bring God into these kid's lives and 2) My heart is now in the right place (when "back then" it definitely was not focused on a vertical path-only a horizontal, self-centered path).
Okay. This completes my catch-up time line. Ashley, hopefully you will see this and hopefully I will continue to update frequently!
I guess I will start with updating the time line I started in the previous post:
September 2008: Oh, the hurricane winds!! They traveled all the way from the Texas coastline up here just to knock all of our trees and power lines down. Fun times! So many of our friends spent the next 14 days in the dark.
October 2008: My brother got married! What a beautiful wedding!
December 2008: Nick graduated from college with his Bachelors Degree in Political Science.
January and February 2009: Both my mom and my dad spent a week in the hospital for different medical issues. I continue to pray for their health since it is moving (in what I call) the wrong direction.
-Oh yes! I can't forget our ice storm. Everything was COVERED in a half and inch of ice. This lasted over a week~once again managing to take out our trees and power lines. (Luckily, we still had more trees than Kansas when we got done with this storm). All of us were very tired of battling the elements over the past 6 months.)
April 2009: I graduated from Indiana Wesleyan University with my Bachelors Degree of Science in Nursing.
-Also this month, Ben started his own business. Somewhat of a continuance from the High School time period, he is mowing lawns and landscaping. It's amazing to see how God can work through him in this job!
May 2009: Carolyn graduated High School! (To add to that-she and I have become wonderful friends. Through one AMAZING sermon, Christ led her down the path to Him. I am so proud of her!)
July 2009: A 22 hour drive to Estes Park. CO for a Macy family reunion. Oh the things I take for granted-such as living 12 hours closer to a most beautiful, amazing place (that does nothing but shout, "God CREATED....")!! How can you not believe when you see the mountains and the wild flowers and the animals and breathe the air up there??? It was too short of a trip, but a much-needed, wonderful one at that.
August 2009: Carolyn started her Freshman year at Georgetown College in Georgetown, KY. Preston also started his 2nd grade year (continuing) at Cornerstone Christian Academy.
November 2009: We took in another dog! Jonesy is his name. He was our neighbor's dog and now he is ours. He seems to be adjusting to the family very well!
December 2009: Ben and I were sick for most of this month, making Christmas not so enjoyable. Also, this was the first year we did not travel back to Kansas during the Christmas season. This month was a bump in the road! Hopefully December 2010 will be a month that I remember for the good aspects instead of the bad.
January and February 2010: Wow! More bumps in the road, if I may say. Too many people connected to our lives had lost loved ones, were going through the most difficult trials in their lives, or were just experiencing some form of devastation or hardship. I did not realize how much this had affected me until a few months after the thick of it.
I internalize so many thoughts and feelings now (part of my quest to "be still and know that God is God"~in the quiet times is when I feel and hear Him the most). I did not realize how sad and burdened I was by the events that had happened. I love those people. I grieved for those that had gone. I felt the burden of their hardships (and we had our own to go along). It is like the Brandon Heath song lyrics, "Give me your eyes for just one second. Give me your eyes so I can see. Give me your arms for the broken-hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see."
I know, now, that God allowed me to feel that way. I can see His reasons for the immense "sadness and pain" I experienced. Also, I definitely have somewhat of an understanding of what depression is like (since I had never before been a "sad" person or struggled with difficult emotional problems before this).
May 2010: Finally! The sun is shining. We planted flowers and they are blooming. The grass is green. The trees are flowering. The time for returning to Kansas for our !!!10 YEAR!!! High School reunion is coming quickly. I can't believe it has been that long! We are excited to see everyone we grew up with.
June 2010: Ben and I will be taking our church High School youth group to Challenge in Ohio. Challenge is the Evangelical Free Church's summer retreat. I have mixed feelings about this trip. I am nervous because 1) I never wanted to go to Challenge as a high-schooler 2) Can I do this? Can I help lead this group to taking a path in the direction of righteousness? I am excited because 1) Ben and I have been given the chance to try to bring God into these kid's lives and 2) My heart is now in the right place (when "back then" it definitely was not focused on a vertical path-only a horizontal, self-centered path).
Okay. This completes my catch-up time line. Ashley, hopefully you will see this and hopefully I will continue to update frequently!
Monday, September 8, 2008
The timeline (by Katie)
2000: Highschool graduation, off to college and my family moved to KY
2001: Preston was born and we got married
2002: The beginning of nursing school (More like boot camp than school!). The move to our 2nd townhome.
2003: Preston started preschool! (Looking back on this event...I definitely would have waited until he was four.)
2004: Ben's family moved to IN (finally only 2 1/2 hours from us, instead of 13!). We visited almost every month for the first year.
2005: I graduated from nursing school (with my ADN) and started night shift. We bought our Explorer, we moved into our first house, and added a Pomeranian (Izzy) to the mix.
2006: I finally went to day shift after a very difficult and tiresome 18 months on night shift.
2007: We started this year off with a pregnancy and a miscarriage. Ben started back to school. I started back to school. Preston began kindergarten. Ben and I both got new jobs. This year was one of our busiest since we have moved to KY.
2008: We finally found a church home at Grace Evangelical Free Church after our countless visits and weekly attendance to 6 other churches in our area. We got an amazing chance to "Walk where Jesus walked" when we traveled to Israel, and the bordering country of Jordan, in March with Pastor Macy's church group from Indianapolis. Once again, we are all in school and Ben and I are both working (only this year it is two part time jobs instead of two full time jobs).
2008-2009: From March 2008 to May of 2009 we will have experienced my brother's wedding, my brother's college graduation, my 2nd college graduation and my sister's highschool graduation.
Ben and I have been married for almost seven years now! This year has been even more special than the previous years and I pray that they will continue to get better and better.
So, now that you are caught up on the last few years and familiar with the next few months, we can continue to keep you updated on the present happenings in our lives. We have had some busy years and they seem to get busier as time goes on, but God has been with us in everything we have done. Our continuing prayer is that He will guide our path as we walk into the future and that we can be lights in this world for Him.
2001: Preston was born and we got married
2002: The beginning of nursing school (More like boot camp than school!). The move to our 2nd townhome.
2003: Preston started preschool! (Looking back on this event...I definitely would have waited until he was four.)
2004: Ben's family moved to IN (finally only 2 1/2 hours from us, instead of 13!). We visited almost every month for the first year.
2005: I graduated from nursing school (with my ADN) and started night shift. We bought our Explorer, we moved into our first house, and added a Pomeranian (Izzy) to the mix.
2006: I finally went to day shift after a very difficult and tiresome 18 months on night shift.
2007: We started this year off with a pregnancy and a miscarriage. Ben started back to school. I started back to school. Preston began kindergarten. Ben and I both got new jobs. This year was one of our busiest since we have moved to KY.
2008: We finally found a church home at Grace Evangelical Free Church after our countless visits and weekly attendance to 6 other churches in our area. We got an amazing chance to "Walk where Jesus walked" when we traveled to Israel, and the bordering country of Jordan, in March with Pastor Macy's church group from Indianapolis. Once again, we are all in school and Ben and I are both working (only this year it is two part time jobs instead of two full time jobs).
2008-2009: From March 2008 to May of 2009 we will have experienced my brother's wedding, my brother's college graduation, my 2nd college graduation and my sister's highschool graduation.
Ben and I have been married for almost seven years now! This year has been even more special than the previous years and I pray that they will continue to get better and better.
So, now that you are caught up on the last few years and familiar with the next few months, we can continue to keep you updated on the present happenings in our lives. We have had some busy years and they seem to get busier as time goes on, but God has been with us in everything we have done. Our continuing prayer is that He will guide our path as we walk into the future and that we can be lights in this world for Him.
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