I've truly been blessed!

Today is my 28th birthday. (I still can't believe I am thinking, writing, saying that.) Also, our ten year high school reunion is in a few weeks (I can't believe I am saying that either). I was in the middle of exercising today and I just stopped while thinking: Where has the time gone? What have I been doing with my life? What have I accomplished in the last ten years? Am I filled with joy or sorrow for the things that have happened since high school?

Wow! Tons of questions that came with so much emotion. I have a bad habit of looking at people around me and thinking I am so far behind because I had Preston when I was so young. We don't have thousands of dollars to throw at the next new and upcoming item. We don't live in a huge house or have "eye candy" cars. We don't have iphones. We don't have cable television (by choice mostly). We don't take vacations every year. We don't. We don't. We don't....

I stopped myself with a reprimand. Why in the world am I worried about those things??? NONE of that is what's important. Two years ago I finally gave up my life and let the footprints become one set instead of two. I finally put God where he should have been all along...FIRST among everything else that infiltrates my life. And, over these last two years I have learned better than to ask those questions at all!

So, here is a little about what I DO have: I have water to drink. I have food to eat for EVERY meal. I have a bed to sleep in every night, and if I didn't have a bed to sleep in I know about 100 people who would offer a bed for me to sleep in. I have my health (mostly :). I have a healthy son and a healthy husband. I have two wonderful, crazy, cute pets. I have a phone to call those important to me. I have air conditioning. I have electricity (believe me I won't take this for granted ever again after our time in Israel, Jordan and all of our storms in KY over the last few years). My husband loves me probably more than I can imagine. I have a family who loves me. I have friends that love me (over 80 people wished me happy birthday today!!!). I have a job where I save lives-where the push of one button can keep someone alive or put someone to sleep forever. I have a very comfortable home and more and more....

I could go on forever and get detailed, but I'll spare you. : ) The point is, no matter what I have been through or am going through or (I'm sure) will go through...God has truly blessed me and my family. He has also given me so much more than material items. He has given me peace when I am anxious. Empathy for those who are hurting. The heart of a servant for those in need. The wisdom to discern righteousness from evil, though evil is elaborately cunning. Patience in times of trials or frustration. Joy during times of happiness AND sadness. Love for those who have not. Love for those who I don't want to love. Understanding when no one else understands.

How...after realizing all of this...could I EVER be in want? How could I think I don't have much compared to those around me "living the life". Well, I can't. I can't be in want and I can't even think of comparing myself to those around me.

So, in answering the question, "What have I been doing with my life", apparently I have not been doing anything worth while. God has been the one doing something with it....leading me where he wants me to go. Over the past ten years I (we) have been through some horrible situations, many of which I caused all by myself. Many of which threatened to tear my heart apart or tear our relationships apart or tear apart the relationships of others. But, now I realize I had to get through all that to know what I know now and do what I can do now.

I sometimes think, "Why did God let me go through all of those things? Why was I different from so many people around me that were following God ten years ago? Why couldn't I have ever just put God first and that would have spared my heartache and sorrow?" Over these years God has slowly answered my questions. I am here...now...continually in contact with an amazing Creator, Giver, Friend. That's what matters-nothing else.

Now, and forever I need prayers to stay strong. I need prayers so that God can work in the lives of others, through me. So, not that I mentioned a question to this answer, but THAT is what I intend to do with my life from now on. Keeping the past behind me. Living for so much more than this world and for myself. Keeping one set of footprints-not two. What a blessing to know what I am living for!